girls against boys do libs!

Heterosexual Alchemy

Girls Against Boys are a band. A band that I recall someone saying was a real girl band. Not because there are girls IN the band, mind you, quite the opposite. They are referred to as a girls' band because girls LOVE to WATCH (and hey, listen, too) Girls Against Boys play their brand of damaged art rock cum punky emotional rescues. The never-ending thumping of the bass (es) and the occasional pounding of the keyboards' whites 'n' blacks make for a perfect backdrop to singer Scott's effervescent and slitheringly sexy pensiveness that masquerades as singing. Then add Ira's wide-eyed back-up yelping and voila! a beautiful-in-more-ways-than-one band is born.

Scott has one of the most notable necks in rock and roll since Tom Verlaine (TV, baby) came on the scene. He's a creature of opposites, the way he looks like a slick Italian hood-kid and a prince. "A languid boy with the confused grace of a child in paradise. A guy worth losing your virginity to." (p .smith) And Eli's relentless adolescence, no matter how many years go by. Is he so aware of his sexually explosive manner? You bet. I love this group because they focus on the face. Close-ups don't disarm them cause they reveal it all. Sex is alive and well in Rock and Roll.

When they came through town, we asked Ira and Scott to participate in a little childish mischeif. We asked them to do a Mad Lib, for our upcoming Mad Libs of the Stars feature. And let me tell you I was the envy of all the gals. But I just couldn't wait. Scott's wacky 'Lib is too damn good. Plus, all the girls I know were talking about it so much afterward I thought it would make for intersting copy to ask why? What makes Girls Against Boys so special? I have transcribed the answers for you after the fab Mad Libs. And by the way, the guest libber's word choices are in bold, while the part of speech I asked for are in (parentheses.)

Eli of Girls Against Boys tentatively gives good Mad Lib:
Beauty Advice
If your skin is (adjective) watery or (adjective) doglike, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your (noun) crankshaft, massage it gently with a (ring) ring that has been soaked overnight in a (a container) vat full of warm (a liquid) sesium. Then mix together some (food) sushi and some (food) bananas until the mixture becomes (adjective) pert. Pat this onto your (adjective) deadly complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a (noun) tooth and wash your face with (adjective) slick water. Do not omit this (adjective) flouncy step or your skin will become (adjective) striped. Do this (adverb) caringly every day and you will soon be as (adjective) wary as (name of a person) Luke Wood.

Scott of Girls Against Boys voraciously gives good Mad Lib:
My Dream Girl
The girl of my dreams has (adjective) scaly blonde hair scented like (plural noun) mites. Her eyes are like two (adjective) plutonic pools of (a liquid) sludge. And her lips remind me of (adjective) fucking (plural nouns) hobos. Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a (adjective) green (noun) dog and she has a figure like (name of a person) John Reis. When she enters a room, people always stare and say, "(an exclamation) Yowza! What a (adjective) flaky woman!" Her sense of humor is always (adjective) tense, and people marvel at her (adjective) slimebaggy vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a (adjective) lucky dress and a diamond (noun) tree in her hair. I would gladly give up all my (plural nouns) pants for one evening with this (adjective) dead female. Her name is (name of a person) Simon Le Bon.

Like I was saying. Girls just love Girls Vs. Boys. Listen to these testimonials: (some names have been changed to protect the embarassed.)

Mickey: You know they're really good musicians. He looks like a Ramona man. Oh hell, it's liquid sex, his voice is just liquid sex.

Donna: For me it's his voice. I find his whole persona sexy. Not so much on CD, but live. I mean, they're not the serious cute-guy band but they are pure uncontrived sex.

Lori: Isn't the singer married to a French girl? Or he only falls in love with French women? I think the name -- Girls Against Boys -- is sexy. And the lyrics, what you can make out of them, at least, are sexy. And the opposites, I'm attracted to the spaz (Eli) because he reminds me of my first boyfriend. But he's so into it. They just go off even though you know they have sung those songs 50 godzillion times. And the singer guy (Scott) is so intense and arrogant and that attracts. They have that "let go" vibe that is so great. But really, I like them because the keyboardist reminds me of my first boyfriend.

Lise: They're bloody sex, okay?

Davida: I get all weak in the knees when they come on stage. I loose myself totally in their power. In my mind's eye I am on the floor, writhing around to the intensity that is Scott.

And I say... Girls Against Boys play like they make it with chicks.