Okay. Quickly now. Name one--only one--descriptive item that comes to mind when the band name Girls Against Boys is mentioned.

Uhhh...Super-cool? Well, yes, but try something else.

D.C. hardcore scene? Yes, again, but still not right.

Art-core/ lounge/ electronica/ double-bass/ NYC/ indie-to-major buzz group? NOOOO! Come ON!

Could it be...sexy? Yes! YES! GVSB frontman Scott McCloud and drummer Alexis Fleisig, sexy as ever off-stage, look distinctly uncomfortable. "Do girls hit on us all the time? Uh," McCloud says blankly.

A count of several beats is taken while the two look sheepishly at each other. "We have actually had a couple of bras thrown onstage," Fleisig offers. "And once...we did have somebody flash us. Female," he adds, helpfully.

These guys aren't kidding. They really are acting as if they are, well, not downright pissed--but slightly put-off by their oh-so-terrible fate of being described as sexy in virtually every story written about them. Guess anything gets old after a while, even chocolate chip cheesecake and winning the lottery.

"The whole 'sexy' stuff, in all the articles--it's just something amusing to read," McCloud says, shrugging slightly but smiling in spite of himself. "You're like, where does this stuff come from? The sexual tension of the music, it's one aspect of the band, but it's not the main thing. So when you read something like 'Chippendales comes to town...'" McCloud's voice drops a theatrical octave: "'SEX ROCK! SEX TROUBADOURS!'"

Oh come on now. Are you really that bummed about being sex, uh, troubadours?

"Yeah!" McCloud grumbles. "We're like oh, no, now we gotta get the oil...."

"Oh, no, we're too skinny..." Fleisig chimes in, cracking up.

"Gotta go out there and be sexy, how's this gonna happen?" McCloud frets. "But--it does seem as though we get a fair amount of women at our shows, which I think is great. Because the music we play is pretty noisy stuff."

Yes, noisy stuff indeed--a band with a perfect steel-hard pedigree, born of the local D.C. scene had better damn well be noisy, just as a Virginia debutante should always keep her perfect nails polished and not risk raised eyebrows. But GVSB are lucky enough to be more than simply another noise-core band. Yeah, sure, they take care to wham you over the head with tricky new ways of weightiness--the band's dual-bass lineup has been a critical focal point for years--but they also incorporate a dark moodiness, odd melodic motifs and rich texture into the concrete. The result is deliberate, controlled chaos--sort of like the V'ginny debutante after she's spent the summer in Europe and is back home with cropped hair, severe lipstick, black clothes and a cigarette between those perfectly manicured fingers. Very cool. Oh, yeah, this band is cool. Beyond cool. An old fanzine article on GVSB held a notable quote from keyboardist/ bassist Eli Janney's mother: something along the lines of "Oh yes, I know Ian. He's such a nice boy." Top that one, punk rocker.

Polite young man Ian (MacKaye, of course, of Fugazi/ Minor Threat fame) served as a nucleus for GVSB's evolution, thus securing their ranks forever in the Book Of All Credibility. Three-quarters of what is currently known as GVSB (specifically, McCloud, Fleisig and bassist Johnny Temple) recorded for Dischord under the name of Soul Side, putting out two LPs and one EP. Janney, a buddy of the Fugazi circle, entered the picture proper when called upon to help MacKaye produce Soul Side's first record.

Intending on merely fucking around a little with the late-1980s "Boy's Club" D.C. scene mentality ("Very fanatical exclusionary male audiences," Fleisig reflects. "All the girlfriends would hang in the back, waiting for their boyfriends--'Can we go now?'"), Janney enlisted McCloud--who in turn enlisted Fleisig and Temple--to flesh out some musical ideas under the (intentionally sarcastic) name Girls Against Boys. McCloud & Co. ditched Soul Side after GVSB's first proper release, a rather iffy experiment of an EP called 80's Vs. 90's, was released on Dischord co-owner Jeff Nelson's label Adult Swim. A full-length LP, Tropic Of Scorpio, followed and ultimately set the tone for success--the band was picked up by Chicago indie Touch And Go shortly after.

GVSB, finding the proper space for their creativity, proceeded to write three immaculately cool albums and a string of EPs for Touch And Go. Their slick, indie-cred-seeped sound attracted a loyal core following (including film director Kevin Smith, who used the band's "Kill The Sexplayer" in the soundtrack to his hit Clerks). Oh yeah, and it also attracted major-label attention. Coolly and calmly--and after releasing 1996's House Of GVSB, their final, stunning record for Touch And Go--GVSB announced that they were signing with Geffen Records. Then they waited two long-ass years to produce anything. This maneuver single-handedly created a roaring buzz among the music populace, industry and fans alike, although both Fleisig and McCloud pretend to be unaware of this.

"We are the 'It Boys'?" quips Fleisig. "Um. Yeah. The It Boys." He shakes his head and laughs. "We're constantly unconscious. We actually do not exist if we are not onstage," he drawls sarcastically.

Regardless of this modesty, with the Geffen buzz also came the inevitable purist calls of "sellout." Fleisig is nonchalant. "If we stayed on T&G, that would have been fine," he states. "But we needed to do something for ourselves. Just the psychology of going from one place to another--you know, 'Oh, we're doing something different now.'"

"I would explain to a fan that it wasn't like we saw a bag of money and jumped for it," agrees McCloud. You have to look at things very rationally and figure out what's in your best interest as a group. For better or for worse, you run the risk of stagnation if you stay somewhere too long. Having completed three records for Touch And Go I think kind of validates our position." He puts a light but definite emphasis on "three."

"I think I had this dream the other night that Fugazi signed to, like, Epic or something," Fleisig muses. "And they were yelling at their A&R guy." McCloud breaks into an uncontrollable laugh.

The highly-anticipated Geffen debut in question, Freak*On*Ica, has much more of an electronic-influenced sound than usual--bassman No. 2 Janney takes on keyboards heavily and all but leaves the low end in Temple's hands. However, aside from Janney's switched emphasis, the record has an overall iciness to it that is quite different from previous, denser releases.

"I don't know if it's so much deliberate," McCloud says of the band's more remote sound. "It's more, like, a conscious decision to go with it. [The evolution of] our double-bass thing was in essence the same as the electronic sounds on this record. Sure a lot of people are doing electronica, sure a lot of people are doing scratching, but that's what we felt like doing. In some ways, instrumentation inspires your songs.

"Like with 'Vera Cruz,'" he cites, referring to a spare bass-groove off of House Of GVSB in which the sound of Janney flipping his bass toggle on and off creates the song's entire framework. "We were trying all these different things. There was a lot happening with that song. Finally, I was like, 'You know what we should do, we should take all this shit out, except for the drums and the weird toggle sound.' It's the perfect example of how to make a song--just concentrate on a sound. One thing."

Yeah, it's pretty easy to concentrate on just a single thing when taking GVSB into account. One can, as McCloud suggests, just listen and go with the record, or one can get caught up in...well, other things. Like the band's performance cameo in the upcoming Courtney Love flick 200 Cigarettes ("We do a very-GVSB version of 'Boogie Wonderland.'") Or McCloud and Temple's lounge-y cool side project, New Wet Kojak. Or the fact that Eli Janney is the hot young producer around town lately, having done remixes for the likes of Duran Duran and the Sneaker Pimps. Or, going back to the sex factor, the naked picture of Eli Janney on Soul Side's Soon Come Happy CD booklet.

"GVSB really is a good band," said my friend to me one day. Mind you, this girl is the truest D.C.-pedigreed chick I know. She has the entire Dischord catalog, as well as everything GVSB ever did in their lifespan. But the first thing she said when I told her I liked GVSB too? "Wanna see a naked picture?" We pored over the photo for a good few minutes like idiot teenagers, trying to figure out if it was really him.

Both McCloud and Fleisig look pleased that I even mention Soul Side at all, so I refrain from mentioning that I spent more time examining Janney's blurry privates than actually listening to the record. Still, I don't think they'd really give a shit. The overriding feel governing the band is one of pure ease, that they really much don't care what people think of them.

McCloud agrees. "One of my favorite compliments is when someone comes up to you after the show and says, 'Man, I don't care what my friends say, you guys are the coolest.,'" he says with a laugh.

These guys are the coolest. Or is it the sexiest? Take your pick--it all applies.

Wendy_Hermanson